BitterSweet

Another fishy project from… Well, I think you know what book it is by now.

I chose this pattern based mostly on the fact that it looked easy as pie, and I could whip it up in an evening. This certainly proved true, and I’m fairly happy with it. The only issue I have is the ugly seam running along the side opposite… I don’t have a worthwhile picture of it, so you’ll just have to trust me when I say that I need to work on my finishing skills.

This book is really beginning to grow on me. While it was initially a huge disappointment, maybe I was too quick to judge, and just picked the wrong pattern to base my review on. I’m glad I didn’t give up and return it, as my mom had suggested when she saw me on the verge of meltdown after struggling to shape my duck for nearly 45 minutes.

Taking this into consideration, I think I will give it a final grade of 4/5 stars. I highly recommend it for beginners; Even the newest knitters will be able to follow the simple instructions and basic techniques.

Banana breads: One of the most common vegan recipes out there, due to the fact that bananas provide not only excellent flavor, but are also one of the best house hold egg-replacers in a variety of baked goods. With so many dull, repetitive recipes out there, I was a bit hesitant to try one - So cliched, so over done! However, it was from a nontraditional recipe that I revamped from a generic berry / fruit muffin submitted on the Post Punk Kitchen.

As all recipes that I have experimented with coming from PPK, these were drool worthy. Crunch pecans sprinkled throughout and on the top, with a moist center, containing chewy chunks of solid banana. The secret to this unique texture?

…Dehydrated banana chips! Quite hard and even difficult to chew on their own, they take on a whole new identity when rehydrated and dropped into this muffin batter. I had been holding onto these for a while now, trying to figure out how they could be best used… and it seemed there would be no opportunity more perfect. Be warned: Do no make the mistake of using fried banana chips - your results would be and oily and less-than-appetizing mess.

I had almost entirely changed the whole recipe, so I unfortunately was not able to take accurate measurements in my haste.  Somehow everything still came together for me, but I’ll have to revisit this one in order to write up a reliable recipe.  Stay posted!

As you can probably see from the photos, the nuts on top can burn very easily, so keep a close eye on them in the oven! Mine didn’t even taste burnt, but be aware that nuts can go from raw to charcoal within a matter of seconds sometimes.

This made about 10 relatively smallish - medium muffins for me. I had originally made these for a little luncheon my mom was holding for her friends over the weekend, but I don’t think anyone else ended up eating any… Nonethless, these were gone very quickly with only her help. If you don’t want to take my word for how fantastic these muffins are, just ask her! She ate four in one day!

If you’re after a more healthy breakfast (or treat), I would try substituting apple sauce for the oil, but other than that, these really aren’t too indulgent.

Banana breads: Not just for hippies anymore.

Another attempt out of The World of Knit Toys. I like this one a bit better, as it was much less frustrating to shape. It was just knit flat and then stuffed and sewn together, very simple and fairly rewarding.

I didn't like how they gave it that ugly embroidered mouth, so I left it out, but under-stuffed it a little to give it a little kisser. Oh, and I decided to omit the bottom fin, since it would just get in the way / look funny, or you would just never even see it.

My little cousin absolutely adores the movie Finding Nemo, so I'm thinking that I'll save it as a birthday or holiday gift for her.

Just a sweet, little sewing project, because I was in dire need of new pajama pants.  My old pair had worn so thin around the knees, you could have read a book right through them… Even in the places that didn't have gaping holes.  I will never take these 2-hour patterns for granted again; It was actually pretty painless, and I ended up with wearable pants by the end of the day.  The measurements may be slightly off because I'm really short, but that's an easy fix so I'm not stressing over it.

Come on now, people, is this not the cutest fabric you have ever seen??

Smiling peas in pods.  What could be better?

(Just a note:  I have been experiencing in internet difficulty / retardation, which is why I wasn't able to post yesterday, but hopefully it will all be sorted out soon.)

For the longest time, I was one of those snobby knitters, who refused to accept crochet into the spectrum of yarn-arts, and was absolutely repulsed to discover that a pattern I had just been drooling over, was in fact crochet. Out of no where, it seemed like everywhere I turned, the crochet patterns I found were actually just… lovely. And it only became harder to stay firm in my belief that knitting was the only way to go once I discovered amigurumi's.

Don't misunderstand I love knitting to death and I like to think that it is my soul's true crafty calling, but even an old dog can learn new tricks, right?! So, instead of oggling more lovely crochet and cursing the craft because I simply can't follow it, I decided to get off my ass and learn for once and for all.

Unfortunately, this occured while I was rotting away in that shitty hospital, with no instructions or people to help. I had no clue what the hell I was doing with my little alluminum hook. My nana came to visit once and showed me a scallop stitch, (Way to scare the crap out of me! I didn't follow any of it!) but that only left me making what I call "finger hats." Trying to crochet in a circle, I end up with a curled edge and a half-egg sort of shape, which could have made lovely little fingerpuppets, I suppose. Nonetheless… that had not been what I was hoping to make. And for a while, it was my end product every single time.

Finally, after a week or two of bullshitting around like that, I realized that needed to actually increase to keep it from curving under. What a novel idea! So here is what I finally made; My very first crocheted piece!

Fried eggs, anyone?

I was completely exstatic - I had really learned how to crochet on my own! But upon closer look… the stitches don't look quite right. That's because… they aren't really single crochet.

Damn! I think I may have been making slip-stitches all the way around instead!

Thankfully, I was finally able to purchase The Happy Hooker by Debbie Stoller, so now I can see the error in my.. er, egg. I have never laid eyes on more comprehensive instructions or attractive glossy photos. I want to make every single pattern in that book, despite my nonexistant skill level at crochet. Honestly though, I would have never figured it out at all without this godly piece of writting, and I highly, highly recomend it to every one else out there… Even knitters.

After that last batch of confusing cookie bars, I sought a recipe that I knew a little bit better to send off with my sister for her return to college. Those poor malnourished college kids… Judging by the way she comes home and cleans out our cabinets, you would swear they’re trying to force-feed her something inhumanly disgusting and unbearable… like brussel sprouts for every meal. That’s why I wanted to give her some reserve supplies before leaving, since no one deserves to eat brussel sprouts, not even the most hardened criminals. *shudders* …Anyway.

The very first recipe that I ever learned to make on my own as a child was my Great Grandmother’s chocolate chip cookie recipe. Sadly, it of course contains animal products, and I’m honestly afraid to be let down by other, lesser versions, compromised by their noble quest to remain cruelty free. Not spending too much time to think it through, that’s when it occured to me - I could try to just replace the offensive ingredients [Ener-G egg replacer for the egg, margarine for the butter, etc] and follow it exactly for the rest, and atleast use this as a jumping off point if it didn’t work. (I’m sure you will see more revisions and multiple attempts in the future, so I sure hope you like chocolate chip cookies everyone!)

Tentitively sliding the pan out of the oven, I was overwhelmed with joy. They were perfect, just as I had remembered - soft, moist, and chewy, with the exact same flavor as when my mom had helped my operate the mixer when I was 5 years old. I bounced around in a sugar rush for a few minutes, thrilled that the first attempt had been so completely successful. …Or so I thought…

Sadly, after cooling off entirely, the cookies became much crunchier, crisper than I had aimed. I had come so close but still so far. Despite the texture though, they were still delicious. Maybe next time we’ll just have to eat the whole batch before it has time to cool. Hmm… I bet my family could handle that, too.

(Sorry, no recipe this time… Family secrets!)

Upon learning that my presence was expected at my Nana’s house for a little family get together, I was off in two seconds flat, raiding my ample supply of vegan cookbooks. It just seems natural for me to always bring something sweet whenever we go for a visit, almost anywhere… But really, I just love the excuse to try out new recipies on my unsuspecting family.

Pouring through the pages of How It All Vegan!, I stopped on the “Chocolate Chip Bars.” The sounded safe enough - somewhat recognizable, not so strange or “healthy” that my little cousins would be repulsed. A quick skim of the ingredients lead me to believe that they were just like blondies, but having never made blondies, I naturally had no clue what I was talking about. Nonetheless, I proceeded, and yeiled confusing - but good - results.

Reviews were somewhat surprising: Not at all like blondies [you dumbass], hardly even like cookies… Maybe they should be called cake bars? Of course, when I bake cakes, they fail to rise or cook all the way through, leaving a dense, mushy mess. But when I try to make cookie bars, they become light and fluffly instead. It was such a dense dough when I was ready to press it into the pan, the texture really took me by surprise.

The flavor was good, very tasty, my aunt said that she couldn’t stop eating them infact. I found them to be on the slightly bland side, but sometimes simple can be better. They just didn’t excite me too much. Next time, I think I may substitute brown sugar, and perhaps more vanilla.

Here’s the recipe, with the very slight change that I made.

Ingredients:

-3 1/2 Cups Flour

-1 1/2 Tsp Baking Powder

-1/2 Tsp Baking Soda

-1/2 Tsp Salt

-1 1/2 Cup Sugar

-1 Cup Oil

-1 Cup Vanilla Soymilk

-1 1/2 Cup Chocolate Chips

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. In a large bowl, stir together the flour, baking powder, baking soda, salt, and sugar. Add the oil, soymilk, and chocolate chips and mix together gently until “just mixed.” Pat mixture into a 9×13 pan and bake for 25-30 minutes. Let cool 10 minutes before cutting into bars.

I didn’t count how many this made, but as you can see from the above tower, even medium sized bars give you a lot to munch on.

Why, hello there sir.

For what seems like ages, I had been lusting over the adorable little creatures created from patterns contained within The World of Knit Toys by Kath Dalmeny. Everywhere I looked, however, not a single bookstore could help me. The employee trying to help me would always give me a look as if I had suddenly started speaking gibberish, informing me that this book wasn’t even in their computer. Was it out of print? Simply out of stock? Who knows!

After months of frustration, my mom became tired of my griping and did a little research for me, and discovered it on Amazon.com, and not only was it under $10, but she offered to order another book she was interested in and cover the shipping and handling.  What could be more perfect!  So naturally… I had to consider it for another couple of weeks, because I’m a horribly and almost irrationally indecisive like that.  Then I realized how stupid I was being, and became panicked at the thought that they may run out.

Now, after all that… I have to say, I’m a little bit disappointed thus far.  This duck that I knit is a little… misshappen, to say the least.  I don’t really understand how Ms. Dalmeny expects something knit flat like this to become a nicely proportioned stuffed animal, with a defined body, neck, and head.  To get mine as it currently stands took more than just a little poking and prodding, to say the least.  Another issue I have is that gigantic beak it’s sporting.  It looks like it would better suit a crane or something; certainly not a duck.

Dispite his flaws, I guess he’s growing on me a little bit, and I decided to name him Mr. Beaky.  I’m not saying that this book was a complete let-down, but it was a bit less than I had anticipated.  I’ll reserve further judgment until I try out some of the other patterns.

…But I have not.

I know it’s been a long time now, and I’m still a bit disoriented and dazed, so please bear with me.  I’m finally home, and I could never be more grateful.  Thank you to everyone who left such encouraging comments, it meant so much to me.  My mom actually printed out the page and brought it to the hospital for me to read, and it truly brightened my mood.

I don’t know how many people are still checking in here, but you will be disappointed by an absence of new material no longer!  Starting tomorrow, I will begin to make my regular, daily crafty posts once more.  I missed my blogging communities more than words can describe; I’m just so lucky to have run across people so compassionate and caring.  Thank you for your kind words, and above all, your patience.