BitterSweet

Life always manages to catch me by surprise, no matter how I try to prepare, reason, or rationalize. Feeling okay about a certain test grade? Oh sorry, turns out you failed. Set your sights low so as not to be disappointed? Well, it seems you won the lottery some how! Good or bad, it sometimes feel as though I’m living backwards, as if I were looking through the mirror and consistently failing to remember how only opposite reactions are possible. At the very least, this perspective ensures that even the mundane occurrences never get old, appearing as new and novel as if you stood on your head and realized how confusing it would be to walk on the ceiling.

Now, in my usual pessimistic fashion, I already had a foot halfway in the door to pack away my snow boots and declare this winter a bust, when of course, the sky finally opened up at long last and unleashed a torrent of powdery ice crystals. No pathetic flurry either, this was the real deal; Schools were canceled all around, and real inches of snow accumulated in visible inches throughout the morning. Never mind the shock, I whipped those boots right back out, jammed my feet into them, and thrust my arms into a thick coat on the way out into the backyard. Glorious, beautiful snow surrounded me like a fine lace, falling gently and melting into tiny pools on my red, frozen nose. It was all I had ever wanted out of these past three months.

Dazzled by this fantastic display, I explored the entire yard with fresh eyes, as though I had never seen such a spectacle in my entire life. Returning to the house for a burst of heat and perhaps hot tea, I nearly fell on my face walking up the porch steps when I caught sight of the brave creature sitting on the railing. Not a single living thing had stirred throughout the time I had spent exploring, but here, sitting on a veritable throne of fallen precipitation, was the most stoic snow bunny I had ever seen.

Such a tiny, delicate looking rabbit she was, but the freezing temperatures didn’t seem to bother her in the least. Here I was, shivering in my thick layers, and all she had was her fur coat to provide insulation! Wanting to thaw my frosty hands, I would have raced inside in any other case, but I hesitated to leave this fragile-looking sweetie outside in this weather. Slowing down to invite her inside, she only refused and continued surveying the landscape she sat above, seemingly oblivious to the frigid winds that were chasing me away.

I still felt bad, but clearly she was well equipped to deal with these conditions, so I went on my way and started up a pot of tea as soon as I had shed my sopping wet outer layer, still carrying a few clusters of melting ice. Proving my mirror-thinking remained intact, I would have bet anything that all the animals outside would have given anything to curl up by a toasty radiator for even a few minutes, but this tiny trooper defied these preconceptions. Hopefully that little bunny will be okay out there, but should she ever need a break from the cold, my offer for a rest and a steaming cup of chai still stands.

Maybe I’m just a tad crazy at times, or maybe you could to soften that phrase and say that I’m perhaps a bit over-imaginative, but some combination of the two causes me to become inexplicably attached to inanimate objects. I worry that certain skeins of yarn feel unloved because they tend to settle down at the bottom of my stash, while others emerge to color various projects a dozen times over. Leaving certain stuffed animals in places that are new to them sets me on edge, because what if they feel lost and scared? What if they feel homesick when they get adopted into new homes? I kid you not, as pathetic as it all seems, but sometimes I worry about these things like they can all really feel and understand the world as any other person does. Don’t laugh now, but almost every item I frequently use has a name, right down to my favorite spoon (”Nosh.”)

When a new, fancy toy arrived for my birthday, she stole my affection from day one. An amazing, beautiful, flawless mp3 player sporting classy clean icons and smooth edges, Zoé, my Creative Zen, quickly insinuated herself into my daily routine and my heart. Enduring such heavy use, it was only a matter of time before I began to worry about Zoé’s well being, as it’s not hard to scratch such a smooth, unblemished music player in this sharp world we live in. Obviously, a cozy was just what the doctor ordered, but this undertaking in itself posed yet another problem: What yarn would do for such a wonderful friend?

After a good deal of searching, I came upon a spot of luck and managed to secure my local yarn store’s final skein of a breathtaking mottled blue cotton, going by the name of Patagonia. Reading the label confirmed that the yarn gods had smiled upon me - Hand dyed 100% natural cotton for $10? I could barely scramble over to the register fast enough, anxious to get back to my needles and set off to work. Zoé must have been getting so cold waiting alone!

Working up a basic pattern from scratch, it really took no time before Zoé was comfortably nestled into her new cozy, looking very safe and content indeed. Wanting to add a bit of interest to the exterior, I knit in a more unusual cable stitch right down the center. Ultimately, it fit Zoé perfectly and looked quite stylish, I think that this particular stitch might have been more successful if executed with a smoother yarn, without all of the bumps of a hand spun cotton.

A simple button closure secures the precious cargo inside, making for the perfect little pocket guaranteed to soften any accidental falls or rough journeys. I sure hope this cozy carrying case is enjoyed by its intended recipient, because I would hate to think that she would be dissatisfied with my work, and start misbehaving as a result!

So far so good, but after laboring so hard to supply me with good music to craft to, I think it’s time Zoé took a little nap. Peeking out one last time before closing the door and shutting off the lights, it’s easy to see how she’s so easy to love.

If you’re interested in recreating this cable pattern for yourself, here are some instructions that I wrote to the best of my ability. [This is not a pattern for the whole cozy!] I’m sorry if it doesn’t make sense or is very difficult to follow, but I’ll do my best to clarify any questions that may arise. There are 12 pattern stitches, not including a border, so if you want to repeat this a couple times, cast on multiples of 12 + however many stitches you want for a border.

Row 1: K3, p1, k1, p1, k1, p1, k4
Row 2: P3, k1, p1, k1, p1, k1, p4
*Repeat these rows 3 more times, 4 times total

Sl 3 st onto cable needle and hold in back, p1, k1, p1, [k3 from cable needle], sl 3 st onto cable needle, hold in front, k3, [k1, p1, k1 from cable needle]

k1, p1, k1, p7, k1, p1

*p1, k1, p1, k7, p1, k1
k1, p1, k1, p7, k1, p1*
*Repeat 3 times more, 4 times total

Sl 3 st onto cable needle and hold in back, k3, [p1, k1, p1 from cable needle], sl 3 st onto cable needle and hold in front, k1, p1, k1, k3 off cable needle

P3, k1, p1, k1, p1, k1, p4

Starting from the very beginning of directions, repeat until desired length is reached.

Eons ago when my sister and I were but wee tots and my parents still exercised the authority to restrict my intake of sweets, I remember the harshest restrictions being placed on soda. Occasional candies and chocolates were okay, but soda? Only once a year, on New Year’s Eve were my sister and I allowed the pleasure of the bubbly liquid. If we were really, seriously lucky, we might even be permitted to add the most conservative scoop of ice cream, making the most alluring concoction we could ever imagine with our underdeveloped minds. Only rootbeer would be utilized for such occasions, mind you, lest we consume the evil substance known as caffeine along with this most decadent treat! For years we obeyed by this ruling, until eventually we grew older and [theoretically] wiser, trusted to make good decisions for ourselves, and soda was no longer such an illusive indulgence. In fact, you could say that their well-meaning plan backfired, seeing as I drink soda almost everyday, and rarely rootbeer!

Thinking about this small aspect of my childhood, I wanted to make something special to celebrate a small vacation from school, wherein my sister would get the chance to come and visit for a few days. Hoping that she would remember these past rituals as well as I do, there was little question over what new form I would try to recreate these memories in a more mature form. Not just a simple drink any more, but a real dessert demanding respect and attention. Don’t even think about comparing it to the old fashioned standby, as it has grown up quite a bit from it’s formerly childish embodiment.

That’s right, the newest incarnation of my beloved rootbeer float is now embodied by ever-popular cupcake, albeit much more animal-friendly than the original. A drizzle of ganache provides a bite reminiscent of a hot fudge ribbon, topped by a sweet dollop of vanilla frosting to take the place of melting, messy ice cream. In my opinion, this baby’s got everything you could ever want from this previously juvenile delight, and you don’t even need a straw on hand to enjoy it.

Admittedly, there is a bit more labor involved than the simple soda-and-ice cream float had demanded, but be patient; It’s completely worth it.

RootBeer Float Cupcakes

Ingredients:

-1 Cup Rootbeer Soda
-1 Teaspoon Apple Cider Vinegar
-3/4 Cup Sugar
-1/3 Cup Canola Oil
-1/2 Teaspoon Vanilla Extract
-2 Teaspoons Rootbeer Extract
-1 1/3 Cups Flour
-3/4 Teaspoon Baking Soda
-1/2 Teaspoon Baking Powder
-Pinch of Salt

Preheat your oven to 350 degrees and line a dozen cupcake tins with papers.

Combine the soda and vinegar and let stand for a few minutes. Add in the sugar and oil, whisking vigorously until slightly frothy. Integrate your extracts, and gently introduce the flour, along with the baking powder / soda, and salt, being careful not to over mix. Distributing the batter evenly between the prepared tins, fill cupcake liners approximately 3/4 of the way to the top. Bake for about 18 - 22 minutes. Allow them to cool completely before proceeding to the ganache.

Ganache

-5 Oz. Dark Chocolate
-1/4 Cup Soymilk
-1 Tablespoon Maple Syrup

Combine the above in a microwave-safe container and nuke for about a minute. Stir thoroughly even if it doesn’t look completely melted - It should come together after a bit of agitation, but if the chocolate still isn’t entirely smooth, return to the microwave for 15-30 seconds at a time, watching carefully to ensure that it doesn’t burn. Drizzle ganache in squiggles over the tops of the cupcakes. [You'll probably have plenty of left over ganache, but is that a particularly bad thing?] Allow ganache squiggles to fully cool and dry before preparing the frosting.

Frosting

-1 Cup Vegetable Shortening
-3 Cups Confectioner’s Sugar
-2 Tablespoons Vanilla Soymilk
-2 Teaspoons Vanilla Extract

Throw room temperature shortening into your mixer, and beat thoroughly until creamed. Add in sugar and start on a low speed so as not to spray powder everywhere. Incorporate soymilk and extract, and combine thoroughly. Apply to cupcakes as desired. Wax nostalgic about childhood memories.

Rolling out of bed in the morning and stumbling into the bathroom, few sights can be more horrifying than the image that meets me in the mirror. Eyes full of sleep sand and hair sticking out in ways that actually defy gravity, it’s a miracle that I manage to look halfway put together before leaving the house. Luckily, my grooming routine only involves basic hygiene, nothing time consuming like applying makeup or styling my hair beyond a basic brushing. With such a busy modern world we live in, how do some people find the time and patience to do themselves up every day? I guess some people are just perfectionists, not accepting anything but a spot-on appearance no matter what they’re doing that day. Looking at such meticulously styled people, it always shocks me to hear that almost every single one thinks that they could have done better some how.

One such perfectionist is this prissy little poodle here, with her carefully combed fur and delicately tied ribbons. While she looks perfectly presentable for any social situation to me, she insists that her fur is all wrong; So fuzzy and unmanageable! So tangled! So unruly! If it were up to her, she would rather trade looks with a hairless chihuahua, for all the grooming she would be able to forgo! Strong words coming from a dog whose identity is based on the tell-tale puffs and pom poms of curly fur painstakingly carved out of their coat. I guess it just goes to show that perfection is in the eye of the beholder, even if that eye happens to be painfully self-critical.

Bet you can’t eat just one!, A famous potato chip maker once taunted in advertisements, challenging buyers to just try not to absolutely gorge themselves on their product, knowing that it was too full of artificial flavors and chemicals for the average human palate to resist. Thankfully, such crude suggestions no longer show up in modern commercials (as far as I know) now that the truth about the addictive qualities of both fat and sugar are public knowledge. Still, that doesn’t mean that food cravings never get the best of us, and this previously absurd challenge becomes proven over and over again.

Sit there smugly in front of your computer, think it would be different in your case, but it is easy to forget one’s own animal instincts still reside just below the surface, waiting for that next morsel of junk food to unleash themselves again. Don’t be ashamed; It happens to the best of us, because no one’s perfect. Keep yourself on a short chain? Unfortunately, you may be all the more likely to snap the hardest someday. Even in an innocent, practically unconscious act, food addicts find a way to manipulate your hands and mouth, forcing you to reach for yet another cookie, even though you meant to stop eating about 5 cookies ago. This is how it’s so easy to suddenly find yourself with only half a package of Joe Joe’s (Trader Joe’s brand Oreos) when they were only purchased a few short hour ago.

Embarrassed at such carnal behavior, I tried in vain to cover up my plight before anyone else reached for this ravaged box of cookies. How does one hide missing food stuffs? Well… Try to replace it, I guess.

Only after the first two impostors had landed in their plastic tomb did I remember that these were actually chocolate-stuffed Joe Joe’s, not vanilla creme as I had recalled! Just goes to show how much I actually enjoyed my gorge, not even taking the time to note exactly what I had just put in my mouth! Ah well, they’re close enough, right? Should the casual observer decide to peruse the shelves for a snack, I figured that in taking such a brief inventory, small details like the actual consistency of the Joe Joe’s might be overlooked in a glance.

Somehow, it seemed to be working! For a day or two, no one said anything about the cookies or lack there of. Needless to say, that’s only because no one actually ventured to open the box and examine their suspicious contents for that amount of time.

Close, but not close enough to eat. My scheme to replace the cookies probably would have worked better had I at least used edible materials!

Food crazes come and go over the years, most with little staying power in the turbulent tides of an ever-changing market. Right now the buzz is all about super foods and antioxidants, alternatives to the traditional idea of diets, and generally healthier alternatives - All good concepts that I can fully support, even if many companies are more concerned with their bottom line than their consumers’ health. Even when the best intentions from wholesome brands are put forward with an honest desire to cater to the health conscious crowd, it’s not uncommon to fall short when it comes to overall appeal.

We’ve seen a particularly huge surge in pomegranate, green tea, all the “usual” suspects that until recently were about as common in American food products as durian fruit. Riding this wave all the way to the bank is Cliff, producer of many different granola bars, including one of my favorites, the Luna Bar. Having an eye on new and interesting concepts, as soon as I caught wind that there new Luna products were to include these trendy ingredients, the only question in my mind was how soon I might be able to sample them. Despite the fact that their previous attempt to expand with the Luna Sunrise Bars was a complete an d utter failure, I still trusted that they could still recover after such a blow. Everyone makes mistakes, after all.

Giving good old Luna a second chance, I purchased one of all three flavors of their brand new Tea Cakes at Wild Oats, each bearing an attractive label similar to their standard bar. Now, I do have a bone to pick about their marketing efforts: I truly despise packages that try to suggest that eating their contents will in fact help you lose weight, clear up acne, attract a mate, improve your hearing… Whatever they claim, the truth is that no single food eaten on one occasion could have any serious impact on any deep-rooted conditions. It might be a great, healthy option that is in fact good for you, but just one granola bar will not allow you to live longer than you would have otherwise. Sorry.

Ignoring the claims in enticing white lettering, other statements on the exterior wrapper bore more encouraging messages, such as a good commitment to organic ingredients, and the inclusion of a veritable truck load of vitamins. Having rekindled my hopes slightly, I grabbed the nearest bar and tore open the protective plastic encasement. The name of “Tea Cake” had convinced me that I was about to be eating something akin to a… Well… Cake! But in reality, it looked no different from what could also be classified as a granola bar, and in fact looked as though it could be a close cousin to the original Cliff Bar, albeit a slightly more petite. The tea part comes in by way of infusion from actual tea leaves, so I’m told. Very different from the mother Luna bar though, the only real similarity to the original as far as appearance went were the signature waves of icing drizzled gracefully across the top. Ultimately, they all looked pretty much the same, with different colored speckles for various fruits and / or nuts.

Nibbling cautiously at a corner, my teeth met with a pleasing resistance and a further bite revealed the moist, chewy texture overall. Much easier to eat than the hard soy crisps of the original, I quickly saw that I was in for a real treat, not just some trendy “health food” junk.

Vanilla Macadamia

Removing the small rectangular tea cake produced a strong aroma of vanilla, shortly followed by an intensely sweet smell. Almost overwhelming to the point of repulsion, I wondered if something so apparently sweet wasn’t made of just pure sugar! Moving in for the kill and tasting further, I was thankful that the extreme sugary scent I picked up at first only manifested itself in the frosting. The bar itself wasn’t overly sweet at all, and the icing actually provided a nice contrast.

Sprinkled throughout are a good deal of hazelnuts, crunchy and satisfying, along with some slightly tart goji berries. With its relatively mildly flavored base, most of the vanilla seemed to be coming from the white ribbons on top, which is a nice touch in that it doesn’t make the bar overpowering or tiring to eat.

Berry Pomegranate

Extremely pungent again, almost to the point of smelling overwhelmingly artificial, there is no question from the first whiff that this bar will be berry flavored. Expecting the base to be the source of most of the berry flavor, topped by the standard extra-sugary but essentially tasteless icing, I was pleasantly surprised to discover a distinctly fruity aspect to the frosting gracing the top of the cake.

Assembling a mélange of various (And seemingly random) berries to construct the base, copious amounts blueberries and goji berries are found throughout, but I was somewhat disappointed to learn that pomegranate was only present in the form of indistinguishable puree, no full pieces. Perhaps it added a lovely undertone, but having never eaten plain pomegranate before, I wouldn’t be able to say for sure.

Overall, this variant was good, but having a strong distaste for fake fruit-flavored items, this one does skirt the line at times.

Orange Blossom

With a very tropical citrus scent coming from the open package, I expected great things to come of it, and was not disappointed in the least. Tasting all of the complex flavors carefully, what I found most striking was the nice astringent bite it provided. Mixing in sizable chunks of dried apricot, the fruit provides a nice mellow undertone while a bright orange flavor takes the spot light. I was relieved to see that goji berries didn’t find their way into this bar, since I feel that their extremely sour properties would have thrown off the delicate balance of the tea cake.

This was perhaps the only bar that I could really see the white tea coming into play, as the flavors actually reminded me of its namesake for the first time.

Over all, I was extremely impressed by this new line of Luna bars, and I would have to say that Luna has more than redeemed itself for its past faux-pas that goes by the name of Sunrise. Still relatively new on the market, the Luna Tea Cakes may be a bit difficult to find, but if you can get your hands on them, you won’t regret making this purchase.

Our kitchen is the only area of the house that enjoys large stretches of clear glass windows, greeting and welcoming the rising sun more enthusiastically than any other room. That could at least partially explain why I spend far more time there than in my own room, where even the wide open curtains only let in the faintest sliver of light, only a mere suggestion that it might in fact be day time. Like a moth drawn to the light, I’m likely to be found basking in the glow emitted by the row of windows adjacent to the fully transparent door downstairs, in the presence of all cooking activities surrounding. As much as I love this bright space, there are times when I curse the carefully constructed layout. It’s not entirely unusual to hear a sickening thud out of no where, and it’s instantly understood that another short-sighted bird mistook the solid surface as an opening.

If this happens when I’m around to hear it, I try to make sure that the feathered creature is alright, if a bit embarrassed. Although there’s little I could really do to help if they had seriously injured themselves, it’s a relief to know that my services are rarely need. Only once did the bird in question not immediately flutter off, shaken but stable. Looking more than a little dazed, I invited a particularly stricken victim of misperception inside to gather his wits and take a small breather. Accompanied shortly by two other worried friends, I asked them all to stay a bit, not wanting anyone to get left behind.

With both caretakers at his sides, it was no time before the whole trio was ready to set off again, behind schedule but wiser for the unexpected pit stop. Now I can fully appreciate when people put seemly absurd stickers on large glass surfaces, warning others to look where they’re going. Obvious to humans (in most cases), but a bird flying at high speed might not look twice otherwise. Maybe it’s time to invest in something of that sort, although unfortunately, I doubt that many of my winged friends will be able to read the warnings.

Birds are still a joy to have around for company, and if there were a way to have more of them stop in without literally hitting the side of the house, I think it would be the best for all of us. Visitors like the ones pictured here are extremely gracious guests, not at all demanding, and always courteous to their hosts, not to mention a snap to make. Requiring only the most basic crocheting competency and smallest amount of yarn, why don’t you adopt a few today?

Body:

Using an F hook and worsted weight yarn in the color of your choice, sc 6 into a circle
Sc2 into each st (12 sts)
Sc 1, sc2 into next st* around (18 sts)
Sc 2, sc2 into next st* around (24 sts)
Sc around
Sc 3, sc2 into next st* around (30 sts)
Sc around for 10 rounds
Sc 3, sc2 tog* around (24 sts)
Sc 2, sc2 tog* around (18 sts)
Sc 1, sc2 tog* around (12 sts)
Sc2tog around (6 sts)

Wings (Make 2):

Sc 6 into a circle
Sc2 into each st (12 sts)
Sc 3, sc2 into next st (15 sts)
Sc around for 3 rounds

Tail:

Sc6 into a circle
Sc2 into each st (12 sts)
Sc2 into each st (24 sts)

Assembly:

Stuff body firmly, gather remaining 6 stitches together and tie tightly. Fold tail in half and sew around outside edge. Sew tail with the flat (inner part) lined up with the last of plain single crochet on the body. With wings about halfway on the body, sew them on so that they are symmetrical, and the tail remains centered between them. Embellish with felt beak and plastic eyes.

Make a whole family, because birds of a feather flock together!

Happy Chinese New Year! I’ve heard that it’s a good omen to have a baby or start a business in the year of the pig, so… Get to it!

Long hours spent pounding away at the keyboard may seem harmless enough, but eventually even the most agile joints will begin to complain. Beginning as a nagging, dull stiffness, no one ever takes heed of the first warning signs, thinking nothing of this mild discomfort. Just one more paragraph to type, one last email to send off into the void of cyberspace, a few more minutes of flailing fingers couldn’t possibly hurt, right? Ordinarily I would agree, but after being glued to my own set of lettered keys for enough time to see the sun rise and set in a single sitting, my aching wrists beg to differ. Observing the protest of severely cramping muscles, I can’t help but wonder how so many other people spend what seems to be the entire day on their computers with the threat of a similar pain always looming!

Reaching the end of my rope in the middle of a long essay put off until the last possible minute for class, the last thing I wanted to see was the demanding rubric laying nearby, clearly informing me that there were still at least 800 words missing from my paper before it could be considered complete. Clutching a bit over-dramatically at my burdened wrist, I was already brainstorming excuses as to why I was unable to finish such an important factor in my overall grade. Without a second glance at the tortuous assignment, I turned to walk away, but spotted a familiar feline moseying towards me at just that instant.

Never one to let others give up when the going get tough, my four-legged friend nuzzled up against the edge of my abused keyboard, urging me to press onward. Surprised by her enthusiastic support, I tentatively moved back into position, discovering that leaning on her back really did take a good deal of the pressure off!

How lucky I am to have such devoted friends around to lean on when I need help! Thanks to this selfless individual, I’m happy to report that by the time my class rolled around the next day, I was able to triumphantly place my fully typed paper in the teacher’s expectant hands. Hopefully the efforts made on both of our behalves will be reflected in my final grade…

Still grateful to have such a cool cat around, it was hard to part when the time came to say good bye. Though I still miss her, I’m placated by the knowledge that she’s in a good home now, hopefully supporting another friend in times of need.