BitterSweet

June is the month of melons, and as the days of May quickly fall by the wayside, grocery store shelves are beginning to fill with a tempting vision of things to come. Summer melons of all colors, shapes, and sizes are poised right by the entrance, captivating unsuspecting shoppers with their fragrant aromas, reassuring the wary that it’s not too early in the season to find a nice ripe specimen. These same stunts are pulled all year round by various fruits too eager to ripen within their designated harvesting time, but melons just may be the hardest to resist. Even a “bad” melon is usually alright, and a good melon can make a mockery of even the sweetest desserts.

Ensnared by the alluring sight of those rounded orbs, I found myself drawn to the voluptuous pile of watermelons as if by magnetism. These beauties are my definition of summer’s bounty, and in the warmer months it isn’t such a rarity for me to go through the juicy red flesh of an entire melon unassisted. Thumping on the green skin gently like a love tap, I happened upon the most lovely watermelon of the whole assembly, and wasted no time helping it into my waiting cart.

Back at home, this spherical beauty was the first thing to receive any attention, even before my other purchases of produce and various boxes were squared away. Slicing the supple flesh with care, my mouth watered at the sight of its lush interior and the sweet juices hemorrhaging onto the counter. I was almost through portioning my prize, when one rather unusual slice caught my eye.

A closer inspection revealed that there was indeed something very different about this slice, so unusual that it was hard to believe my own eyes. I mean, I’ve always considered some fruits, like bananas, to have natural “zippers”, but this was ridiculous!

Opening the little pocket wide with little protest from the flexible exterior, I wondered what sort of strange, unnatural phenomenon must have occurred to create this aberration! Without missing a beat after this mostly rational thought, I questioned what on earth you might keep inside a watermelon to begin with!

Nonetheless, the remainder of my delcious melon was promptly eaten without consequence, and the curious purse still resides in the kitchen, waiting to be put to use… How, I don’t know, but at the very least I can rest assured that it’s all natural! All the same, after such an experience it would probably be smart to examine my slices more carefully from now on! Hopefully June’s melons will only get better compared to this demented one.

It’s a cat-eat-cat world out there, and I can’t say that it’s always so easy to get by. Trying to establish a stable home base in such rough, turbulent waters can really take take its toll on a person, even if they appear to take it in stride. Being rather sheltered much of my life, I was lucky enough to avoid a good deal of the deadening grind that so many must experience every day, but all the same, that doesn’t make it any less real for those who are caught in the thick of it. This was made painfully clear to me when I walked down town to the library the other day and caught sight of an old friend.

Even from afar I was certain that it was him, although he had changed quite a bit since we had last met. Once an easy-going sweet talker with deep amber eyes, his gaze was now as hard and cold as ice, eyes darkened and empty, like a bottomless pit. Leaning against the fence in the shadows next to the library, I questioned whether or not I was seeing correctly, because it was difficult to connect this tough-looking man with the young boy I once knew. Still, despite his intimidating exterior I was convinced that the friend from my memory and this lad right here before me were one and the same.

Cautious but excited to see my old companion, I began walking toward him to catch up a bit, see just what he was up to these days. Even as I came closer and closer, his forbidding expression didn’t soften in the least; Not a flicker of recognition passed through those black eyes.

I can’t even imagine what sort of dreadful experiences caused him to change so drastically. Falling in with the wrong crowd, I guess it’s easy to get caught up on the darker side of society, hardened by the endless stuggle to simply stay afloat. Deep within my heart, it hurt to see someone I cared about like this, but even had I reached out he would have only recoiled in disgust, unable to admit the need for help.

Looking for a way out of this mess, I quickly bent over to pick up a coin glinting in the sun on the sidewalk nearby, pretending not to see the silent onlooker sulking by the fence. Turning away to enter the library, I wished I could look back just one more time… But really, this was no longer my old buddy standing outside. He was the same person alright, just not the one I remembered.

Waking up practically drowning in sweat these days, even my own skin is beginning to feel a bit claustrophobic. I can barely convince myself to get dressed in the morning, let alone venture outdoors to face the unforgiving elements. The summer seems to have arrived early this year, inflicting upon us such oppressive heat and humidity that I truly fear what conditions July might exhibit. Clearly I’m a New England sorta gal, better suited to freezing winds than muggy stagnant air, but I still can’t figure out for the life of me why so many people prefer this hellish season. What is it that they possess and I lack, besides the ability to relax poolside? If there might be one singular thing that I could point to, I believe that the answer may very well revolve around ice cream.

Having had mixed experience at best with frozen soy-based desserts, I’m still reluctant to pluck a new product of this sort off the shelf. Not too long ago though, a number of factors converged and drove me to sample some of the fruit-sweetened pints by Soy Delicious. First and foremost, the convenience factor paired with my desperate desire to cool off prevented me from leaving the freezer section empty-handed, but good words about this company reverberated in my head, assuring me that it wasn’t mediocre like so many well-intentioned but lack-luster choices. What really sealed the deal, however, was when I spied a pint of green tea ice “cream.”

Let me make this perfectly clear: I adore green tea and green tea-flavored desserts. It is such a sad state of affairs that most Americans don’t share my passion for this flavor, which is why discovering any commercial product that can boast such a sweet are a disappointing rarity. Upon spying this incredible find in my local health food store, I bought 3 pints on the spot and sprinted straight to the register, eager to secure my treasure and dish it out. Haphazardly slopping the contents of my grocery bags into all the wrong storage spaces when I got home, it was the most I could do to control myself and spoon it into a separate dish, as I would have just as happily dug straight into the container.

Savoring every drop, the dusty moss-colored ice “cream” melted slowly over my joyful taste buds. So smooth and creamy, the thought of this being a good substitute never crossed my mind - This was identical to the real thing, as far as I’m concerned. Delicately flavored with the complexities and nuances of authentic maccha and not a hint of bitterness to be found, it was accompanied by the perfect amount of sweetness. Faint whispers of vanilla lingered quietly in the background, and the resulting harmony throughout could put any imitator to shame. If I possibly could, I would fill my freezer with nothing but this frozen delicacy and eat it for every meal. Hell, I love it so much, I’d bathe in it if I could!

Uncertain that anything could even compare to the green tea delight that I was still in rapture over, I was reluctant to sample any other flavors. Sadly, it wasn’t long before my supply ran out, and as that small market has now mysteriously stopped stocking it just as suddenly as it arrived, so I had no choice but to move on.

Thankfully, if there was ever a flavor that I might be able to muster nearly as much enthusiasm for, it would be coffee. A self-proclaimed addict, the traditional hot drink holds sway over my mind like no other substance. Figuring that the espresso flavor might be able fill the hole in my freezer, I snatched up a pint as soon as I had the chance. Luckily, I was not disappointed; Deep, dark roasted coffee beans seemed to be infused into the frozen “cream” itself, as it could speak volumes in terms of the gourmet flavors enthusiasts are always after. Still, it was somehow light and not unctuous or overly rich, so it was still a wonderfully refreshing treat. Modestly sweetened, I could scarcely believe that I hadn’t found this creamy delight sooner. Truly, I’d take this over an iced latte any day!

There are so many other flavors on the market by Soy Delicious, this isn’t even the tip of the iceberg as to their full potential. Armed with this knowledge and some damn tasty vegan ice cream, the summer isn’t looking so miserable, after all.

Sitting in front of a veritable buffet of text books and my binder that is spread wide open, like the gasping mouth of a fish, I tried fruitlessly one afternoon to tackle some of the assignments that accumulated over the past few days. Looking more like some gruesome 40-car pile up than overdue homework, a macabre scene of torn pages, crumpled paper, and illegible handwriting sprawl across the table for as far as the eye could see. The damage was too great to comprehend; Nothing could be done but gawk mindlessly like a deer caught in the headlights. Immediately my eyes glazed over and my chances of fighting my way out of this mess were reduced to somewhere around slim to none, but all the same, nothing would move me from that seat. It had to be done! Painful and horrific as my homework situation had become, it would only get worse if I didn’t face it. Lifting pen to paper, I prepared to forge my way through this literary jungle, when…

Diingg Doonnggg.

Focus shattered in an instant, I was up on my feet before my harried mind could complete even one sentence. Stunned and disoriented from the sudden interruption, I wondered for a moment if perhaps the oven timer had gone off, as it was extremely rare to have visitors come unannounced. Confirming that the oven was cold and unoccupied, my confusion only grew as I warily made my way towards the front door to investigate. Homework now completely forgotten, I clutched the knob with trepidation and yanked quickly, peering out of the small crack for safety. Opening the door further to get a better look, all that was to been seen was the bright sunshine playing on sparkling blades of grass and bees busily flying about. Ashamed of my runaway imagination, I cast my eyes down towards my feet… And that’s when I saw who rang.

Nestled into a snug little basket was a newborn kitten, so young that she was still pink all over. Putting on a brave face, not a sound escaped her quivering lips, but I could clearly see that she was terrified of this monster that she now faced. The poor thing, having done nothing more than be born didn’t deserve to be dumped by the wayside just because her selfish owner didn’t care enough to let her mature with the guidance of her mother. How awful I felt, towering over this bundle of innocence, with nothing more than inquisitive stares to give!

Kneeling slowly to come down to her eye level, I knew that there was no way I could refuse shelter to this helpless kitten even if I had wanted to.

Without a single reserve, I escorted her into her new home. Adopting the new position as her caretaker in stride, I quickly extricated her from that claustrophobic basket and gave her a soft cushion to rest on. The relief on her face was quite evident - I can only imagine what horrors she had to endure in her short few days on this earth already. Hopefully I can still turn things around, taking as much care of her as possible. And maybe one day she will return the favor… And eat some of my homework so that I have an excuse for not having it!

Remember that old childhood favorite, Animal Crackers? Cute, crispy and cravable, a top choice for kids far and wide… Or so the producers would like to think. Sure, they’ve been around long enough to be considered a “classic,” (Over 100 years, in fact) but lets be honest here - They’re seriously lacking in every aspect they try to emphasize. Every time I picked up a bag out of my school cafeteria, I always regretted it before I could slog through the first disappointing handful. Bland and soggy as wet construction paper, the number of cookies in the trash would far outweigh the cookies that made it into my stomach. Most of the remaining lunch period would be spent puzzling over what sort of creatures these companies were trying to replicate, as I couldn’t tag a distinct species if my life depended on it. Not a single advertising gimmick withstanding, gullible kids like myself periodically repeated this optimistic tasting only to inevitably find themselves hungry and without lunch money. Ah, youthful naivety!

Thus, I tend to be wary of remotely similar products, but after avoiding them for so many years now, the time finally came that I was presented with just such a snack and … To tell the truth, I had a feeling that this experience was bound to be vastly different from the start. Instead of featuring unidentifiable creatures created from various animal products, fillers, and everyone’s favorite, high fructose corn syrup, these feature environment themes in both shape and composition. Justifiably called Eco-Planet Cookies, it was easy to see that these would be wholly different from your standard animal cracker.

Made of all organic, wholesome ingredients, this alone gives them an edge on the competition. I have to admit, I’m quite taken with the cute little shapes, too; Each tiny windmill, smiling sun, hybrid car, and Earth all serve as reminders of renewable energy and a healthier lifestyle. Who wouldn’t feel good about giving that to their kids in the first place? Not just talking the talk but also walking the walk, Heaven Scent actually donates some of the proceeds to like-minded environmental groups. Additionally, the line of products even has a much more diverse profile, moving into the realm of savory snacks as well. I hoped that I wasn’t falling into yet another clever marketing ploy, but these actually seemed to have great potential.

It was as good a time as ever to take the bull by the horns, so I went for the Vanilla Cookies first, figuring that they should be proof that either they were superior to animal crackers, or that it was simply impossible to make edible snacks in such a format.

Giving the open box a good shake onto my waiting napkin, I was greeted by the numerous cheerful faces of winking suns looking up at me. Immediately taken in by the cute-factor, my doubts were quickly dissipating. Pale and unassuming, there was no reason to fear a repeat episode of my childhood disappointments, so I set aside any remaining uncertainty and wolfed down a cookie in one crunchy mouthful. Sweetly flavored with a good balance of sugar and vanilla, they were quite pleasant indeed. No single aspect overwhelmed the cookie on a whole, and they worked together harmoniously to create one simple, crunchy biscuit. Certainly nothing mind-blowing or revolutionary, but hey, they nailed this one 100 times better than the original, and that’s really saying something.

Progressing on to their second sweet offering, I poured out a generous helping of darker colored cookies going by the title of Oatmeal. I wasn’t really sure what to expect with this one, since all oatmeal cookies I’m accustomed to have visible oats to show for their composition, but these were simply crunchy biscuits just like the previous cookie. Tasting them revealed a flavor similar to graham crackers, which turned out to be a very pleasant surprise indeed. Faint notes of vanilla lingered at the back of my throat as I began craving another bite, proving them to be a very easily addictive. Since graham crackers without honey are more difficult to find than you might think, these certainly are an excellent alternative for vegans.

Taking a dive into unknown waters now, the box of savory Pretzel Crackers was calling my name, playing on my curiosity until I could take it no longer. I was expecting to find hard pretzels like the more flattened twists, so I was pleasantly surprised yet again to take my first crunchy bite and discover that these were actually much lighter and flakey than regular pretzels. Sprinkled with large, enticing granules of salt and lightly toasted to varying shades of golden brown, each boasted an almost buttery flavor that I simply couldn’t get enough of. Although it sounds so basic, the combination of each of these elements really makes them into something special - I can definitely attest to that, because these particular crackers disappeared from my pantry faster than any of the other varieties!

While a cheddar-flavored cracker might naturally be the next addition to any average snack producer looking to expand their line of wares, this particular move is a surprise to me, as these offered by Eco-Planet are actually Dairy-Free Cheddar. Still weary of fake vegan cheese in general, I wasn’t sure what I was in for as the fluorescent orange tibits tumbled out of the box, producing a pungent cheesy aroma. All signs pointed in a good direction, as they really did smell very much like cheddar! Passing their first test, they warranted further investigation so I quickly popped the nearest miniature windmill into my mouth. Immediately I was struck by how similar they tasted to the other real cheese-flavored crackers on the market - They even stick in your teeth a bit like the real ones, too. A nice hit of salt rounded out the flavor quite nicely, and I soon found that the buttery, crisp munchies really started to grow on me. The more I ate, the more I liked them!

In sum, these are perhaps the perfect fast snack for kids - Fun shapes in relatively mild but agreeable flavors, with very little potential for mess that parents will need to clean up later. It’s a win / win situation, and even the planet can benefit from this environmentally considerate choice!

[Written for Go Dairy Free]

Few sweets are quite as welcoming to a novice baker or cook first entering the world of homemade candies as fudge. Don’t be scared off by recipes that call for boiling sugar to temperatures sounding comparable to the surface of the sun, or ingredient lists sourcing oddities such as evaporated milk; There’s truly an easier way! Sure, it may not be the traditional method, but who needs the hassle when instant gratification is knocking on your door? Not to mention the fact that it makes for excellent quick-fix gifts as well. Forget about that anniversary, date, or birthday? No problem, because this simple indulgence comes together in a snap.

Much less inspired than necessitated, the original purpose for creating this recipe was merely to use up some of the odds and ends slowly accumulating in my pantry. A handful of almonds, an ounce of pistachios, random scraps of half-melted chocolate bars, and not a single dish that they could create individually. Even combined, there simply wasn’t enough substance to cover the bottom of an 8 x 8 pan. Not one to waste, I knew that there must be some solution. Out of the depths of my baking supplies, I unearthed a forgotten package of little bonbon papers, and that cinched it - Fudge bites it was!

Since this recipe is all about using what you have, go ahead and try whatever you think might work; Combining multiple types of chocolates, nuts or “milks” as needed to use up any remnants. Get creative - Use unusual ingredients, try new combinations, use different shapes to mold them in! Anything goes with this uncomplicated fudge, so the most important tip I can give you is to have fun with it.

Fudge Bites

-4 Ounces Any Chocolate (Semi-Sweet, Bitter Sweet - Heck, even spiced Mexican chocolate tablets could work!
-1 Tablespoon Margarine
-2 Cups Confectioner’s Sugar
-Up to 2 Tablespoons Any Non-Dairy Milk (Soy, Rice, Oat, Hemp, Almond…)
-Splash Any Extract (Vanilla, Almond, Peppermint, Orange…)
-1/4 - 1/2 Cup Any Nuts (Almonds, Pecans, Walnut, Pistachios…)

Begin by placing small bonbon papers into a mini-muffin pan so that your fudge bites retain their shape and don’t accidentally spill out. Put all of your chocolate into a microwave-safe dish along with the margarine and heat for about 1 minute. Stir it until you get a nice smooth mixture, reheating for bursts of 20 seconds at a time if necessary. Do take caution so as not to scorch your chocolate, because it’s a small amount and will burn rather quickly if given the chance.

Once completely smooth, slowly stir in the confectioner’s sugar, followed by the non-dairy milk. Only use enough liquid as needed to give you a pourable but viscous mixture. Depending on the humidity and your location, you may not even need any at all, so trust your intuition on this one. Finally, mix in your extract and nuts before pouring about a tablespoon of the fudge into each waiting bonbon paper. Let sit at room temperature for at least 2 hours for it to set up and become firm. If you want to speed things along, you could probably let them chill in the fridge or freezer for the to solidify, but do not store them there!

Now that I’ve managed to clean out the pantry a bit… I think it’s time to go grocery shopping again!

According to grilling enthusiasts, now is high-time to start dragging your family outside and firing up those grated metal bars again. Memorial Day, the point of no return, is almost upon us, undeniably marking the first official reason to break out the burgers and oversized spatulas, ensuring their place as mandatory fixtures in any sort of group gatherings to follow. Sure, grilling is a fast, efficient way to cook / char / incinerate a wide range of foods that could easily carry a party from appetizers to desserts, but if I can be perfectly honest with you? I get about as excited about grilling as I do about microwaving. It’s just another method of cooking for me, and these long summer months full of special magazine inserts, tv programs, and sales on grilling, grilling, and more grilling really make me long for a flash-frost that would put those infernal contraptions out of commission.

Before the novelty wears off and backyard barbeques become about as exciting as my daily shower, I can still appreciate some of the smoldering food stuffs to survive their encounter with coal. Unfortunately, my lovely veggie skewers are rarely allowed to cook in peace, as hotdogs have been an irreplaceable staple of my family’s get-togethers for as long as I can remember. Made of random animal scraps, few commonplace foods disturb me more, but my father has a peculiar affinity for them nonetheless. As legend has it, he supposedly went a full month eating nothing but hotdogs in his college years; Hotdogs for breakfast, lunch, dinner, and anything in between. Can you imagine? Truly, how a person could stomach that menu is beyond me, so you would have to ask him yourself to confirm this bit of lore.

Still, this year I’ve discovered a new brand of tofu pups that are surprisingly edible, so I’m happy to have more options for the next time that the grill cover comes off. Meat substitutes are generally a rarity in my home, as I was never particularly fond of the taste to begin with, but accompanied by a healthy squirt of mustard, these pups can actually hold their own. If only the rest of my family wasn’t so biased against these blatant “fakes,” they might want to find a place on their own grills for them too. Maybe some day even my dad might approve of their taste, if ever he could see beyond his beloved beef hotdogs. Since they’re so easy to whip up, why don’t you try them for yourself?

To make your own tofu pup, you will need an F hook, fiberfill stuffing, and worsted weight yarn in cream, white, rust, and mustard yellow.

Outer Bun: (Make 2)

With your cream colored yarn, ch19. Sc into second ch from hook, and sc into the following 16 sts. Sc 3 times into the final ch, continuing around, and sc into the backs of those same 16 sts. In the last one, sc 2 times. (38 sts)

2 sc into first st, sc 16, 2sc into next st, sc 1, 2sc into the next st, sc 16, 2sc into the next st, sc 2. (42 sts)

Sc 1, 2sc into next st, sc 16, 2sc into next st, sc 3, 2sc into next st, sc 16, 2sc into the next st, sc 2. (46 sts)

Sc 2, 2sc into next st, sc 16, 2sc into next st, sc 5, 2 sc into next st, 16 sc, 2 sc into next st, sc 3. (50)

Sc into each st for 3 rounds.

Break yarn.

Inner Bun (Make 2):

Repeat the first 4 rounds of the outer bun in white and break yarn.

Wiener:

Sc 5 sts into a ring, and sc twice into each sts. (10 sts)

Sc 1, 2sc into the next st* around. (15 sts)

Sc even for 13 rounds. Now is the time that you would want to surface crochet the mustard squiggle on in order to embellish your pup, using your mustard-colored yarn. Once you have your wavy line, stuff firmly.

Sc1, sc2tog* around. (10 sts)

Sc2tog around. (5 sts)

Break yarn and gather remaining stitches together. Tie tight and weave in ends.

To assemble, sew each outer bun to the inner bun, stuffing once you’ve closed closed up the seam about 5/6 of the way. Finish sewing the two pieces together and tie tight. Once you have both halves together, sew those pieces together across one long side to make a full bun. Nestle your tofu pup into the bun, and you’re all set to get your grill on!

Wow. All I can say is just wow. Thank you all so much for responses - The sheer volume of opinions, suggestions, support, and general input was more than I could have hoped for in my wildest dreams! The votes still need to be tallied, and all manner of proposals taken into consideration before the cover design moves forward to the next step, but I think that there is at least one clear-cut winner for the font… I bet that you can figure that one out, too!

In the kitchen the other day while playing around with new recipes as usual, my thoughts kept drifting back to all you wonderful people offering such a service to me without any reserve, and wishing that there was some way I could share these sweets with you guys. After all of the help that I’ve received, I figured that it’s only common courtesy to offer some sort of token of my appreciation, too. Sitting so invitingly on the counter, the fresh pastries were practically begging me to share them with all of you deserving readers. That is why I’m so excited about writing a cookbook in the first place; So that I can share all of these delicious goodies with absolutely everyone, near or far.

Still, with the tentative release date so far off, that certainly wouldn’t suffice for this situation. Why not send some sweet treat out anyways? I pondered aloud, picking out the most luscious strawberry tartlette of the batch and setting it aside. The only reason I have this opportunity is because of the blog and all those kind enough to stop in, so thanks are definitely due. I know that this doesn’t even begin to cover it, but I thought it might be fun if I tossed out a little raffle for everyone who put in their two cents about the cover. So, after randomly drawing a number to correspond with one lucky commenter, it seems that my tiny tart will be going to…

Ren!! Congrats, this little trinket will be headed your way asap! Expect an email from me shortly!

Don’t be disappointed if you weren’t chosen - I hope to hold more random raffles like this in the future to continue saying “thanks” to everyone kind enough to make their presence known, so stick around! There are bound to be lots of treats looking for stomaches, and sweet creatures looking for good homes!

This call for help is going out to all of you lovely readers out there, whether you’ve been in this wild ride with me from the very beginning or this is your first time just dropping in, I want to know what you think! Since this upcoming cookbook is for you guys or people like you, I would love to hear what your idea of a good cover picture and font type would be. Together with my brilliant publisher, Alisa, we’ve whittled down the choices to a small list, form which I’d be most appreciative if you would pick your favorite. I know that this would all be a whole lot easier if I could figure out how to set up an anonymous poll… But I can’t, because I’m simply not that tech-savvy. Sorry!

Please, take just a minute to write a brief little comment - Even if I don’t know you personally, your opinion carries the exact same weight as anyone else’s when making the final decision!

So, without further ado, here are our cover picture candidates…

1) Wasabi Chocolate Cupcakes

2)Triple Threat Chocolate “Cheese” Cake

3)Pumpkin Pecan Pie

4)Bananas Foster Cake

5)Mocha Devastation Cake

6)Brilliant Berry Parfaits

And for the font…

Thank you to everyone for helping out, I really do appreciate your honesty in this. Don’t worry if I don’t respond to your comment; Every single one still counts, and you never know - Yours could be a deciding factor!