One Bad Egg
June 9, 2007 at 8:02 am | In Crochet | 50 CommentsGrocery shopping at my local rinky-dink super market is more often an exercise in frustration than an opportunity to acquire the new, inspiring ingredients I yearn for. Forget about finding esoteric ingredients like lychees or even enoki mushrooms- This store doesn’t even stock the humble vanilla bean with regularity! Don’t bother asking the employees about the possibility of special orders or simply diversifying their offerings either, because they are so completely incompetent that they can barely keep track of their selection as it is. Case in point, not too long ago there was one particularly disturbing incident in which the cashier was mystified by the fuzzy orange spheres I presented to him, that he couldn’t even figure out what they were. Explaining that those oddities were apricots of all things only complicated matters, as to his knowledge, apricots were only dried. Can you imagine, little shriveled up fruits growing on the tree, pre-dried…? …I still have nightmares about this one.
But I digress. Managing to escape with a few odds and ends that are potentially edible, you would think that the whole ordeal is over, but you would be painfully mistaken. Countless times have I arrived home feeling triumphant, only to discover that choice purchases were missing from my brown paper bags, overlooked by those helpful workers and left carelessly on the belt.
Even weirder yet is when items that had never once entered my cart end up mixed in with my other acquisitions. Sometimes this actually turns out to be a pleasant bonus, one which I graciously accept as an apology for the typically dismal service. Other times, however, I feel like this store just has it in for me.
That’s right- Sifting through my unassuming bag of groceries, my hands suddenly exhumed a carton of a half dozen eggs. What an insult! What a horror! …What on Earth was I to do with them? Go back and return them, explaining that they mysteriously appeared amidst my other belongings? No, that wouldn’t do, lest I desired the label of either a thief or a mental patient.
Staring vacantly at the white styrofoam in a confused stupor, the moral implications of it all weighed heavily on my mind. I absently reached out and flipped the lid in attempts to focus my thoughts on the situation at had, hoping that the sight of its contents would make the answer clear. Peering cautiously inside, it took only a moment to realize that these were no normal “farm-fresh” eggs.
The fact that one had broken in transport was the most mundane thing about them- Each one was lively as could be, entertaining a personality all their own, instantly becoming animated as soon as their eyes met mine. As if I ever needed another excuse to abstain from eating eggs, seeing the life and energy that they exuded would have been enough to turn even a hardcore carnivore into a vegan!
Sitting in the front row was the sad broken egg, yolk exposed to the air without a cushion to protect it from the harsh outside world. Immediately to its right sat a very concerned-looking friend, clearly riddled with anxiety about his neighbor’s recent break.
Just one row back though, those two characters nestled comfortably into their indentations carried on with their boisterous shenanigans, oblivious to the drama just a hair’s width away from them. I couldn’t be sure exactly what sort of exchange was occurring between them, but I could tell that whatever joke was just told was wearing thin, but the joker just keep egging the other on. (Forgive me for the awful pun, I couldn’t resist!)
Of course, in the very back the final two were even more clueless, grinning away without a care in the world. I loved how upbeat this pair was, although it was rather unfortunate that they were so completely disconnected with the other residents of the carton. All the same, the scene of destruction in front and petty annoyance in the middle seemed justifiably unimportant with these two friendly faces greeting me warmly.
Well, if I had hoped to avoid being deemed mentally unfit by returning eggs that weren’t mine, then this sight was really the last thing that might have saved me. All the same, I now know what to do with them: Like any other living thing, these guys deserve love and a good home, and I’m more than happy to provide that for them. I would normally be very much against keeping an animal product like eggs here, but for these… I think I can make an exception to the rule. Vegan-friendly eggs are such a unique and wonderful thing that I couldn’t very well keep them all to myself; Break out your hook and yarn, because now you guys can have your own egg-buddies as well!
Whole Egg (Make 5):
With white worsted weight yarn and an E hook, sc6 in circle
Sc1, sc twice into next stitch* around (9)
Sc around
Sc2, sc twice into next stitch* around (12)
Sc3, sc twice into next stitch* around (15)
Sc around
Sc4, sc twice into next stitch* around (18)
Sc5, sc twice into next stitch* around (21)
Sc around for 3 rounds
Sc5, sc2tog* around (18)
Sc1, sc2tog* around (12)
Sc around
-Embroider and stuff firmly-
Sc2tog* around (6)
Break yarn and gather remaining sts together, pull tight and tie it off.
Broken Egg Shell:
Sc6 in circle
Sc twice into each st (12)
Sc around
Sc1, sc twice into next st* around (18)
Sc5, sc twice into next st* around (21)
Sc3 times into one st, sl st twice* around
Break yarn and weave in ends.
Egg Yolk:
With yellow yarn, sc 7 in a circle
Sc twice into each (14)
Sc1, sc twice into next st* around (21)
-Embroider-
Sc1, sc2tog* around (14)
Sc2tog around (7)
Break yarn, gather sts and tie tight.
No assembly required, just find a nice cozy carton to hold them in!
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what a cute, cute post! my whole family enjoy it!
Comment by johanna3 — June 9, 2007 #
hahahaha they are awesome!!!!!! ^^
Comment by Anne — June 9, 2007 #
So cute! Thank you for the pattern, you shaped them really well.
Comment by kinoko — June 9, 2007 #
the one in the top right corner looks a bit dodgy…. never trust a crooked smile! he’s up to no good.
Comment by Lisa Bettany — June 9, 2007 #
Thanks for these – they made me laugh out loud.
Comment by Katie — June 9, 2007 #
Great eggs! I just added a link to this on my Softies 101 section at Softies Central.
Comment by therese — June 9, 2007 #
you’ve outdone yourself!!! I love these so much.
Comment by Celine — June 10, 2007 #
Cracks me up. OOF.
You are one of the best things on the Net. :-) Thanks.
Comment by su — June 10, 2007 #
Love your site.
love your ideas.
:)
Comment by cristina — June 11, 2007 #
What a cute idea. I want to make these! Thanks for sharing the pattern :-)
Comment by Liz Reeves — June 11, 2007 #
you are so talented…………………… i lovelovelovelovelove them!!!!
Comment by Joanna — June 11, 2007 #
I am so impressed with your site! You make such cute projects! I will be taking on a few of these as soon as I can get home to my yarn!
Comment by Carrie Lynne — June 11, 2007 #
So lovely!
Comment by Patricia Scarpin — June 12, 2007 #
Absolutely adorable..that little egg yolk is great!
Comment by Tartelette — June 12, 2007 #
i have your blog on my favorites list love the eggs
Comment by beth eathorne — June 12, 2007 #
haha.. so of COURSE you crocheted some eggs instead. Why did i even bother to guess at some other cause!?
and he didn’t know what APRICOTS are?
Comment by persephonesawakening — June 13, 2007 #
EEK !!! That is TOO cute!
At first I was reading the post thinking oh yes, that has happened to me(getting something in my bag that I didn’t buy..
But then…LOLOLOL!
Great post and neat blog!
Comment by merrimerri — June 15, 2007 #
omg, i saw this link on crochetpatterncentral~~ tooooo cute!
Comment by alexandria — June 15, 2007 #
I can’t believe that checker didn’t know what furry little oranges are. He thinks dried fruit grows on trees?? Anyhow, you’re a super talent. This is a cool blog site. I can’t sew worth a damn, but it’s fun reading the stories about the eggs.
Comment by abarclay12 — June 18, 2007 #
That is potentially the cutest thing I’ve ever seen! :D
Comment by Griffin — June 18, 2007 #
I love them!!!!
Comment by Hanane — June 19, 2007 #
I have to say…I’m embarrassed I have not read the entire blog… but I have totally fallen in love with your imagination! The foodies, the critters! Absolutely adorable! Thank you for sharing and putting a smile on my face! Now i gotta go back and read some more! Thanks for sharing your patterns also- it allows those of us not that imaginative to share with ours!
Ever think of offering a CD of patterns?
Comment by scottishmist — July 14, 2007 #
Just came from tartelette to follow the origins of the travelling eggs. I adored them even before I read your story, and now I’m in love!
Comment by baking soda — July 21, 2007 #
i am in love with these eggs. i have already begun making dozens of them (in various stash busting colors) for easter eggs next year. my husband’s family does the “gold egg” which when found wins a prize, so those guys will have really cute faces. thanks for one of the easiest egg patterns out there.
i have converted the pattern to make lemons to decorate my kitchen with, and they turned out really cute.
Comment by casey — July 26, 2007 #
Thank you thank you for the pattern! The eggs are great, and I just finished making them for my SIL’s birthday. You are awesome!
Comment by Trish — July 26, 2007 #
I will HAVE to make these for my neighbor who is constantly giving us far fresh eggs. Sorry, my dear vegan friend… ;( But thanks for the pattern!
Comment by Anita — October 15, 2007 #
Hi
I have spent the last 3 hrs looking through my sites for your blog. I knew you had the things i wanted. I sure glad I found you again. You do such nice work and its cute too. Thanks..
carol.. in Iowa
Comment by carol — October 22, 2007 #
I must make these!!
They are absolutely adorable.
Comment by Jordan — November 3, 2007 #
Ahahahaha, lol those are adorable!!! I loved the ones in the middle, they look like me and my one friend when we’re having a sleepover. XD Love your little patterns!
Comment by stardragon — November 21, 2007 #
LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Love it! Darling and so creative you are!!!!!!!!!
Barb.
Comment by Barb — January 20, 2008 #
Absolutely wonderful. Great!!! I burst out laughing.
Comment by Kris — January 21, 2008 #
Very very nice. It makes for a great story, too!
Comment by kaet — January 22, 2008 #
So cute, thanks for sharing!
Comment by Amy — January 23, 2008 #
The eggs are really cute…..I would love to make them but I can’t understand the pattern.
How many to chain to start? If someone can help me understand I will take all the help I can get.
Comment by Tammy — February 17, 2008 #
my e-mail is tcharlton@bellsouth.net
If someone can help with the pattern.
Comment by Tammy — February 17, 2008 #
HAHAHA!! These are the coolest eggs ever. When I saw them I expected to see yolk on the surrounding eggs from that poor broken one. I hate it when that happens! But these eggs are calling to my creative jucies to make them up and and a story to go along with them…..hmmm…
Comment by Daffymommy — March 15, 2008 #
i have a suggestion. Can you please make a crochet pattern for ice cream
Comment by Hi — March 17, 2008 #
How do you make them round? I am only new to this?
Abbey
Comment by anunfoldingstory — May 8, 2008 #
i luv deese tey ar so coooooooooooooooooooote!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Comment by MR egg man — June 22, 2008 #
This is too funny & a very ADORABLE solution!!!
Comment by MichelleS — July 1, 2008 #
Hi, I am 11 and I LOVE to crochet. I love your cute patterns and the funny adorable stories that go with them!! You are so clever and your toys/items are so perfect! I have already made the baby whale and the little birds, and I have to try this!!
Comment by sophloaf97 — July 30, 2008 #
These are fantastic!!
Comment by Calypso — August 31, 2008 #
You are incredible I LOVE your site.
Comment by Korby — January 21, 2009 #
I loved this so much that I made my own but instead of 5 regular eggs and a broken egg,I made 4 regular eggs,a broken egg and I made 2 broken shells and crocheted a little chick to put in between..
Comment by Kimmi — January 28, 2009 #
rofl Thanks, I just did one for a friend, I posted on my blog :)
Comment by Renee — May 26, 2009 #
:)
Comment by Renee — May 26, 2009 #
I was wondering if you had a button I could add to my side bar of my blog, LOL Posted it here, didnt know how to e-mail ya lol
Comment by Renee — May 27, 2009 #
That is sooo cute i can proabably make them!
Comment by Sara — July 3, 2009 #
They are so funny
Comment by Jillian — October 13, 2009 #
Good evening,
May I have use your pattern ? I would like put translation in French here : http://stecolargol.over-blog.com/
I made your eggs ! it’s so cute ! I love it ! I hope that you’ll be agree ! I’m so sorry my english is so bad !
Thanks so much !
sincerely
Comment by stef et sa belette — October 24, 2009 #